Relationship and Being Happy

by Debarchana

In a relationship there are certain mistakes that are done and they are unintentional. I did one too, I was rude to my guy. However, I realized and wanted to explain to him the reason for an unintentional outburst but he seems to be extremely angry. Can you please suggest how can I get this issue resolved? I have read that we should come out of the feeling of want and be approval. Can you suggest how please? I request your guidance.

I have started clearing the clutter one by one in my house to lead a positive and happy life. Also can you you guide me how to think and feel positive and be more relaxed, calm and lovable. How do I love myself and how do I start appreciating myself? I want to think, feel, and be positive. I want to emit the feeling of Positivity and spread love.

Also can you guide me through the Release Technique and Sedona method. How do I use this in my life to create betterment, happiness and lovable, understanding relationships.

Kindly guide me

Dear Debarchana,

Please forgive my tardy response, after a much needed vacation I got very much behind. I hope this doesn’t find you too late.

There are a few things that I can recommend. First, you must stop beating yourself up. You are only human and we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and behave differently in the future.

Another approach that works well for me is to apologize without having to rationalize what I have done or defend myself. I simply say that I am truly sorry.

The Release Technique and the Sedona Method are very helpful in breaking bad habits, alleviating negativity, dissolving resentment, and building true self-love. If you cannot take a weekend class or buy the class on DVD, I would strongly suggest buying the book "The Sedona Method" -- there are wonderful guided techniques in there.

The fundamental principle of both methods is that you choose to let things go. It is simply a choice. There is no trick. So at first, you ask yourself questions like “Can I let it go?” The only thing you need to say to yourself is “yes.” Sounds too simple, right? However, I promise that it works!

Let me give you an example of a series of questions.

Could you allow yourself to welcome your current relationship?

Could you embrace what has happened in the past?

Could you let go of wanting to control this situation?

Could you allow yourself to let go of wanting to control your partner?

Could you, just for a moment, allow things to be just the way they are?

Ask yourself these questions aloud and respond with a “yes.” The more you do it the better you will feel.

My secrets to fostering love (including self-love), peace, and positivity are meditation and affirmations. Meditation helps calm the mind and gather chi, while affirmations form new thought patterns (they actually reprogram the brain!). I also read a lot – not only is it inspiring, but you can learn so much.

Read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life.” She gives techniques and exercises for building self-love and transforming your life.

Her basic steps are:

  1. Adopt a willingness to change

  2. Work on releasing the past and forgiving yourself and others

  3. Then you begin the process of learning to love and approve of yourself through affirmations and mirror work. Mirror work is when you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you love and approve of yourself. The Release Technique encourages the same exercise – it is called "self-esteem baths." There is something phenomenally powerful about looking straight into your eyes and saying "Debarchana, I love you. I really, really love you." I won't lie, at first it feels a little ridiculous. But with time, the change begins.

Louise Hay also has a DVD of the same title which is incredibly inspirational. I watched it every day for several months and experienced drastic changes.

You must have a willingness and commitment to better your life. And, more importantly, you must be patient. Don't give up!

I hope this get’s you started in the right direction and I truly wish you great happiness and peace.

Be well,

Click here to post comments

Return to Feng Shui FAQs.

shui and beyond


"In our deepest moments of struggle, frustration, fear, and confusion, we are being called upon to reach in and touch our hearts. Then, we will know what to do, what to say, how to be. What is right is always in our deepest heart of hearts. It is from the deepest part of our hearts that we are capable of reaching out and touching another human being. It is, after all, one heart touching another heart."
- Roberta Sage Hamilton